you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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