he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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