she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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