To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize