I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
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Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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