You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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