Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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