i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
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The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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