CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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