pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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