I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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