beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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