this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize