we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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