Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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