So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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