"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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