Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
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Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
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i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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