Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize