It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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