well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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