I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
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Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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