Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
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My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
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Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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