i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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