Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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