I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize