do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize