New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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