i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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