She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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