i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize