we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize