I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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