Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize