what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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