So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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