Who wears a wallet chain?!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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