he puts the penis in happiness.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
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I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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