Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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