So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize