I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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