If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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