saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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