Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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