The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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