Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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