His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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