she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
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