Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize