it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize